Paper Pregnant

We are almost 5 months along...in this adoption process. Kind of hard to believe!

Each day it is becoming more and more real and the excitement is beginning to build.

The hardest part about being "paper pregnant" is all of the things I DON'T have to prove we will be having a baby- a positive pregnancy test, a growing belly, a due date, cravings, and of course, the constant trips to the bathroom and swollen feet.

However, now that I am 5 months into this, there is definitely a list of things that I'd say prove we are "paper" pregnant!

Let's see, I'll start with the first trimester!

Symptoms:
 - Those first 12 weeks were filled with feelings of being overwhelmed...by mounds of paperwork and hundreds of questions.
- There were definitely sleepless nights as I toss and turned over all the "what if's"
- We had all kinds of appointments to go to- doctor's office, post office, adoption office- that reminded me this was for real when I had nothing tangible to hold, feel, or see yet.

Cravings:
- I craved the feeling of acceptance when we waited to be approved to adopt.
- I craved the feeling of completion when the homework would be finished for our homestudy.
- I craved chocolate when I stressed about the financial part of the adoption.

The first trimester was definitely the hardest as there were many ups and downs and so many unknowns.

Second Trimester (where we are currently!)

Symptoms:
- I am definitely in more of a routine and feeling "settled" now that we've been accepted and approved- I can sleep through the night without tossing and turning.
- The paperwork is in and our home study is completed which helps me relax and feel way less stressed.
- The baby room is finished and I know how to install our carseat which definitely helps me feel prepared and ready.

Cravings:
- I have begun craving for our little one and getting to hold him or her in my arms
- I crave the knowledge of who our little one will be and when he or she will be here
- I still crave chocolate when the stress of waiting and being chosen by a birthmom feels overwhelming!

I guess being "paper" pregnant has its own symptoms and cravings too!

Whether a family is made by being "paper" pregnant or "humanly" pregnant, it is a family. I can't wait for our little family of two to become a family of three! Because we have now completed the home study and are officially a waiting adoptive family, that reality could be any day!

Hang in there with us as we head out of the second trimester and into the beginning of the third trimester of this paper pregnancy!

Growing in my heart

The Waiting Room

"Please have a seat, ma'am, and someone will be right with you."

I really don't like those words. Most of the time it means I am waiting for the dentist, the eye doctor, the primary care doctor, or some government agency...none of which are fun areas to wait.

It is those moments of waiting that my mind begins to reel...
"What will they find when they look at my teeth today?"
"Will I have to get a shot?"
"Will my vision be worse this time?"
"What if I can't pay what I owe?"
"What if I don't get approved"

What, what, if, if- these words give me sweaty palms and a racing heart before I even make it back to the exam room! And then, I probably look pale, and have a HR of 200, and a BP that's in hypertensive crisis and I'll probably need to be sent to the hospital right away, and... the list could go on.

You get my point. Waiting is not fun. Waiting is hard.

And that's where we are right now in our adoption of Baby Woodley!

We passed our home inspection last Tuesday, September 29th, and are now waiting for our family assessment to be completed so that we can adopt in all 50 states! Currently, we are approved to adopt in PA while the family assessment is being written and could get a phone call at any time!

Exciting. Nerve-wracking. Awesome.

 Making all the outlets baby proof!

 Our Emergency numbers and fire escape plan up on the fridge and ready to go!

 

The must-have carbon monoxide detector!

 



Car seat properly installed!

 

The home inspection wasn't bad at all, and with a few things added, we passed with flying colors! Next, we are updating our profile to have it available to expectant moms by November 1st. Our profile will more than likely be seen many times before we  are chosen as an adoptive family. It is during this time of waiting that we will continue to fundraise for the last fees, fill-out paperwork for adoption grants, and pray fervently for our forever family!

 

Can't wait for Baby Woodley to join our family!

 

During this time of waiting I am choosing not to fear. I am choosing not to look ahead at the "what-if's." I am choosing to keep my eyes focused on Jesus. I am choosing to trust in a loving God who has proven Himself faithful over and over again. I am choosing to wait patiently for God's perfect timing!

 

"Please have a seat, ma'am, and someone will be right with you."



 

It Takes a Village

 

 

I've always wondered what it would have been like during colonial times to live in colonies and help raise one another's children.
Then, I adopted.
This adoption has been such an incredible time of seeing just how blessed we are and how it truly takes a village of others to help bring a little one home! Dave and I are blessed beyond words and we can't thank you all enough for all you have given and continue to give to help us bring our Missing Piece home!

Update on the Missing Piece Fundraiser:

For those of you that are participating in our Missing Piece Fundraiser, thank you! We have received back 10 pieces with incredible gifts of love and we are so grateful for your generosity! Through this fundraiser and other anonymous gifts that have been given, we are only $10,000 away from the total $30,000 we need for this adoption! WOW!!! Talk about an incredible answer to prayer! You all have been incredibly generous and supportive and we can't wait to share Baby Woodley with you!

Update on Baby Items:
 Many of you have asked how you can help provide in other ways as well and we, again, have been totally blown away by the generosity, gifts, and total outpouring of love on this little one that isn't even home yet! Take a look at all the gifts, big and small, that have been given to give Baby Woodley a wonderful start to life!

Gently used carseat

 

Beautiful hand-me-down crib

Room decorations and all the linens

 

Gliding rocking chair

Changing table

Baby toys

 

 

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all those who have so generously given. We could not be doing this adoption without the colony of villagers helping us on this journey!

 

What's Next?

 

 

 

Along with many of you, we can't wait to bring this little one home! However, we have a few more steps before that becomes a reality. Next Tuesday, September 29th, at 1pm we have our home inspection. This is the last interview of our homestudy! Once we have passed the home inspection, the agency will put together our family assessment and our profile will then become open to the public.

And then, we wait. We wait for an expectant mom to choose us. We wait for a phone call to say we've been chosen. And in the waiting, we will continue to pray. And, we will continue to keep you all updated on the progress!

 

If you would like to help us on this journey to #adoptingbabywoodley, please email me at adoptingbw@gmail.com ! Also, if you would like more information on adoption or Bethany Christian Services, email me at the address above and I would be happy to tell you all about this incredible journey that YOU can go on too!

 

 

Adoption takes a village and we couldn't do this without YOU!

 

 



 



 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We're Almost There!

Our Infant Care Class

On June 9th, Dave and I sat in a room full of other prospective adoptive families.

We listened to stories of unwanted children. We listened to stories of wanted children who couldn't be provided for. We listened to stories of heartbreak and hope. We listened to stories of a need. A need for people to rise to the occasion and adopt the "orphans" of the USA.

So, we rose to the occasion.

We didn't know what kind of adventure we would be in store for. The piles of paperwork. The endless pages of adoption books. The multiple checks to the government for background checks and fingerprints. The trips to the doctor's office for drug tests and TB tests. The interrogating questions in personal interviews. The many chats about how we want to discipline our children. The many prayers for financial support. The overwhelming response from friends and family in their giving. The countless donations of baby items. The list goes on and on.

And, yet, we are almost there! We are almost finished with an adventure that started just 3 months ago. But this is just the beginning! The beginning of waiting for our precious bundle of joy to arrive. The waiting for the phone to ring to say we've been chosen. The waiting for the child God has been preparing for us. The waiting may be difficult, but the end result will be incredible!

 

 

The last step in the home study process is our home inspection! We will have our home inspection conducted on Tuesday, September 29th at 1pm! Once we pass the inspection, we pay the first of 3 large payments. Once the payment is made, our profile becomes public. Once our profile becomes public, we could get a call about a baby at any time! 

It feels so surreal. This moment. I can't believe it's here.

Though the first leg of the adventure is almost over, there is still so much more to come!

We're almost there! And we can't wait!

Just Jump

The other day a friend of mine and I were talking about her home buying experience. The ups and downs. The waiting and unknown. And the constant "Oh, one more thing." being told to her.

She and I are very similar- Type A, OCD...and all the other labels that go with being crazy, control freaks! Don't worry- she knows she falls into this category!

She then turned to me and asked me, "How are you doing this?" I said, "Doing what?" She replied, "This adoption thing. There are so many unknowns. You don't know when you are getting a baby, you have to be ready basically whenever, and you just have to wait. How are you doing it?" My initial response was, "Well, there is nothing to stress about at this point because we don't have a baby yet." But, her question got me thinking.

This adoption journey goes against every grain of my need-to-control-every-situation self.

This adoption journey goes against every plan I had in place...FOR ME.

This adoption journey goes against every Type A, OCD part of me.

This adoption journey has been the most incredible adventure I have ever been on.

I just had to JUMP!

Before I was married, I had a desire...I had a dream...to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

I know. I know. Totally crazy. But totally worth it.

As I climbed up into the plane, my heart began to race...just a little. As the plane ascended into the air and I watched the perfectly good ground go farther and farther away, I began to think, "What am I doing? What was I thinking?"

We finally hit 15,000 feet. Yes, you read that right. 15 THOUSAND feet above the ground! And it was time to jump. I had signed the waiver. I had watched the video. I had paid the fees. I had put on the jump suit. But nothing could prepare me for the moment of sitting on the edge of the plane, looking down to the ground below and being told, " 1. 2. 3. JUMP!"

 

My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. I was just a little scared.

 

I jumped.

 

And it was the most amazing feeling in the world! The ground that was so nice and secure, now looked so small and far away. However, the things I could have never seen while standing on the earth, were now so visibly clear. My perspective changed. If I had never jumped, I would have never been able to have witnessed my world from such a different point of view.

 

As I jumped, I had that momentary thought of, "What do I do if my parachute doesn't open?" It was in that moment that I had to have faith. Faith in the man I was tandem jumping with. Faith that the parachute had been packed correctly. Faith that the parachute would actually come open.

 

I could have been paralyzed by the fear of the "What if's" and never have left the comfort of the ground. Or, I could push past those fears, move out of my comfort zone, have faith and witness something that I would never had witnessed had I not jumped.

 

Seeing the world from that point of view was a moment I will never forget. It was truly amazing.


When it comes to this adoption, I can't be paralyzed by the "What if's."
What if we don't get enough financial support?
What if we are never chosen?
What if we are picked and the adoption falls through?
What if the baby comes in a few weeks and I'm not ready?
What if that baby turns into a teenager who rejects me and wants to be with his "real" mom?

Yes, the fears can be paralyzing and ones that should be worked through before continuing the journey.

But, ultimately, you just have to trust. I have to trust that I am doing what I believe I am called to do. I have to trust that the God of the universe is going to supply all my needs. I have to trust that my God is sovereign and in control of EVERY situation.

 Dave and I have taken the adoption leap of faith. And we have been totally blown away by the support from those who are a part of our life! From the financial support through our fundraiser, the donation of all of my baby items, to the many who tell us they are daily praying for us, we have been so humbled and blessed!

Baby gifts!

 

All the envelopes to be sent for our fundraiser!

 

Puzzle pieces returning and generous donations being given!

 

 

When that desire, that dream, comes into your life and you know that it will be amazing but it will mean stepping out of your comfort zone- do it! When that desire, that dream, comes into your life and you know that it will mean a sacrifice on your part to be a blessing to someone else- do it!

 

So, to my dear friend who asked, "How are you doing this adoption thing?" I am doing it by having faith in a loving God who cares so deeply about me and who said to me, " Are you ready?"

 

"1. 2. 3. JUMP!"



A Letter to My Little One

To my precious little one,

  We haven't met yet. But in my prayers, I talk to God about you every day. I pray for the little person you will grow to become and for the precious woman who is carrying you right now- in her arms or in her tummy.

  I don't know if you will come to me as a newborn, a 6 month old, or a toddler. But what I do know is that the moment I meet you, I will love you with all of my heart.

  My little one, you are a chosen baby. Your daddy and I prayed many months about making the decision to choose you. We still aren't finished with all of the classes and paperwork to be able to meet you, but that will go by quickly. And soon, I will be rocking you in our comfy rocking chair.

  Your daddy is so excited to meet you. He is brand new to this whole baby thing (I work with them almost every day) so he is practicing. He practices wrapping my baby dolls so that one day he can swaddle you warm and tight. He holds little babies at church so one day he can hold you and comfort you in his big, strong arms. Your daddy prays for you every day...and is already so in love with you.

 

  And I am already head over heels in love with you! As a nurse who works with babies all the time, I get to hold, feed, swaddle, and comfort many other peoples' babies, but I can't wait for the day when I can do all of those things for my baby- you! I can't wait to take you for walks, read you bedtime stories, and sing sweet lullabies to you as you fall asleep in my arms. You are a gift from God and will always hold a special place in my heart.

  My dear, sweet little one. Your room is ready, our hearts are growing with anticipation to meet you and love you, and we can't wait to see what God is going to do in and through you, our chosen baby. We will continue to pray daily for you and patiently wait until the day we meet.

I love you.

Love,
 Your Mommy

Asking for Directions

I know that they say guys have a hard time asking for directions. But let's face it ladies, we do too!

 

I hate looking like I don't know where I am going, what I am doing, etc. To the point where I will spend hours trying to figure it out before finally asking for help. Or how about doing a task...all by yourself! I am guilty of that one all the time!

 

I don't like to ask for help. I am a first born. I can DO IT MYSELF!! If there is a financial need, well, I'll just work more hours. If there is a physical need, well, I will just devote all my time and energy until the need is met. I got this!!

 

However, there are some things...okay, a lot of things, I just can't do by myself.

 

For example. There are some lovely bushes that grow along the front of our house. They are great for privacy and keeping others from peeking in to our little backyard. However, they grow like weeds. The first year in our home, I took the hedge clippers to them and gave them a good trim. Only to realize 3 days later they were filled with poison ivy, hence, the terrible rash all over my arms!

"I'll be more careful next time." I thought as I took the clippers to them again the next summer. Once again, 3 days later, I was covered in a rash. Only this time it was so bad, I was placed on steroids.

 

Now, you'd think I would have learned my lesson. Naw, I did it again. And was placed on steroids, again! Talk about a stubborn will! You know why I kept doing it? Because I wanted everything to be done just the way it should be. I wanted everything to look nice. I wanted to show my husband I could do it ALL BY MYSELF! Unfortunately, all I showed my sweet husband was a stubborn wife who couldn't learn her lesson! This year, though, I've stayed away from the bushes. Yep, they are a little long right now and yes, they will eventually get done. But I am going rash free this summer! My husband is perfectly happy to trim the hedges too because he doesn't get poison ivy and it keeps me from being a cranky wife for 2 weeks! Sometimes, we just need to ask for help!

 

Going through this adoption journey has humbled me in more ways than one. And one of those areas is asking for help. Like I have stated before, the adoption journey is not a cheap journey. Even though God has blessed us unbelievably financially, there are still some things that we just can't pay for on our own. So, we have come up with a fundraiser and would love to have you join!

 

The "Missing Piece" Fundraiser



  Dave and I have stated from the beginning that this journey through adoption is our adventure to find our "missing piece." And this sparked an idea! We turned the picture above into an 88 piece puzzle! But, here's the fun part! If you would like to help us financially and help make a difference for a little girl or boy, you get to receive a piece of this puzzle! When you choose to be a part of this fundraiser, you will be sent a puzzle piece along with a letter. Once you have received the puzzle piece, you will sign the back of your puzzle piece and send it, along with your donation, back to us. When we have all the pieces back, we will put the puzzle together and frame it as a gift to our adopted child! This puzzle will have all the names of those who helped make it possible for this child to have joy and hope for the future!

 

 

As much as I'd like to say, "I can do this myself," I can't. We can't. Adoption takes a village. Thank you to those who have already so graciously given- your name is already on a puzzle piece!! For those that would like to give, please send me your name and address to adoptingbw@gmail.com

and I will get a puzzle piece to you!

 

Thank you all for joining us on this journey! Knowing you are reading the blog and praying for us is the biggest blessing of all! We couldn't do this journey without you guys!!